Not so Scrumtious


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Sunday found me in Northcliff, Johannesburg having brunch with Kuku & Princess at Scrumptious, a fairly new restaurant at the El Corro Center none of us had been before. Always keen to try new things, we sat down with big eyes taking everything in. From the garage sale chandelier over the center harvest table to the strange bovine installation that meets you at the front door, “quirky” features quite a bit!

The folk who’ve set up this joint have obviously been enamoured by Tashas, and tried to combine the over-done pink cupcake madhatter tea party vibe with the Tashas open-plan, elegant, tasteful feel. Lots of pastels, lots of sweet treats, lots of flower prints on teapots, cushions, wallpaper. A little busy to be honest. I also noticed that the menu had a very similar look & feel to Pick n Pay’s Kitchen Cafe menu.  Muffins advertised as cupcakes (no topping so thus a muffin?). Double chocolate, triple chocolate, chocolate fudge, chocolate brownie muffins. Diabetics beware! The breakfast menu contained the usual suspects, French toast, fruity-yogurt-muesli moment, salmon & egg, bacon & eggs, nothing too exciting if I’m honest. No choice on the rest of the menu, as breakfast is all that’s served before 12pm.

It took ages for a waitron to get to us; we ended up waving one down like you would hail a taxi in NYC. A double espresso (R20), an Americana (R14) and a skinny cap (R23) were ordered and arrived 15 minutes later. My espresso was so full it had tipped over into the saucer and thus the crema was long gone. A poor effort indeed. Especially for R20. Vida gets it spot-on for R13. I went for the DIY breakfast of poached eggs, tomatoes & wholewheat toast. Wait, no, egg in the singular. I literally got an egg and 4 slices of tomato on a plate. Not even a piece of curly parsley for garnish, chef? Toast arrived 10 minutes after my eggs arrived, cold & hard. The glass I’d ordered water in smelled dirty, and had soap streaks on it. Princess opted for a bran muffin with cheese & jam, which, if I think about it, is pretty difficult to mess up. She’s so clever like that.

Generally, the whole experience left me yearning for Cape Town and the mostly-high standard of food there. Is it just me, or is the lack of food service follow-through these days not important? This was an establishment that was 80% full on a Sunday morning. Is the fact that the place is buzzing & bringing in money enough for management? Does the Jozi community not have enough common sense to define what is a rip-off and what is not? I was part of this community not very long ago, and definitely would not have accepted this poor level of service.

I won’t be sharing the contact details of this place with you, my angels. I love you far too much!

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